How many times a day to you look at yourself in a mirror? Do you love what you see? Even if you don’t love all of what you see, do you love WHO you see? If you don’t, do you know how to start loving yourself? Or do you even care if you love yourself at all?
Today I’m going to share with you the importance of loving yourself and how to start doing it or get even better at it. Because, if you don’t, you will never be able to live the life that you so deeply desire.
This article is a spontaneous creation based on a moment of realization that I experienced just a little while ago that left me with an expanded perspective. It was significant enough for me that I wanted to share.
Before We Get Started
I’m not a psychologist or a mental health therapist or anything like that. I’m just someone that looked in the mirror and at that moment, had a new understanding of what self-love meant and why it was important.
Self-love is not an easy topic for me and I am certainly not an expert on it. In fact, I have self-esteem issues and self-worth issues of my own that I struggle with on a day-to-day basis. I am still learning how to teach my children how to not lose the self-esteem they were worth with…
Okay, so right now I feel like Emmet in the Lego movie as he tries to give an inspirational speech and they all start booing at him and he says, “there was about to be a BUT”. If you haven’t seen it, here’s the clip:
Anyway, as I was saying…
Even though I’m not an expert and I’m still learning as I go, when I looked in the mirror the other day and casually noted how I was feeling, I took a moment to compare my current thoughts to those I’d had over the last few weeks and that’s when it hit me. The voice I chose to listen to was different. How I felt in response to those thoughts I chose to listen to was then, also different.
When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like the way my hair looked. It seemed shaggy and I thought once again about cutting it vs growing it out. But in that moment, the thoughts in my head also said:
“It doesn’t matter because 1) Haircuts can be fixed to look like how we’d like to look and 2) My haircut doesn’t change who I am. I still love the person beneath all of the shaggy hair. That part of me doesn’t change based on an outward appearance.”
So even though I’m not an expert on self-love, I know and can feel the Truth in what I just shared with you. The deeper understanding behind those thoughts is what I hope to impress upon you today.
Is Your Self-Love Only Skin-Deep?
If you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see – maybe you’re having a bad hair day; maybe you feel that your shirt is wrinkled or doesn’t look as great on you as you thought it did on the hanger – but do you look deeper than that? Is everything that you see when you look in the mirror all just what’s on the surface?
I think a lot of us often stop at what we see and we don’t take a moment to look deeper. At least, that’s what I noticed about myself. It’s easy to notice yourself from the outside because it’s what you can physically see every time you look in the mirror. But there is so much more of you to love than just what you can see.
If you’re unhappy with what you see in the mirror, find something on the inside that you like. Take a moment to look deeper ad go within.
What you find beneath the surface is so much more valuable and long-lasting. The qualities you possess on the inside are things that no one can take away from you. You are a beautiful spirit worth loving and it starts with you.
If looking within and finding something that you like about yourself is difficult at first, remember that it’s only difficult because it’s unfamiliar to you. It’s not hard. It’s just unfamiliar and you may need practice. So start small.
- Find something about yourself, a quality, a trait, a quirk, a talent, etc., that you like. It can be small and seemingly insignificant but find something.
- List off a few reasons why you like that quality about yourself. Remember to look beyond the physical.
- Then find something else that you like and make a list of all the things that you love or at least like about yourself.
- Come up with 2-3 things at a minimum and be patient with yourself. If you’re not used to thinking this way, it might take you a bit to come up with 1 or 2 things that you like, and that’s okay. You’re exercising parts of your brain (which is a muscle) that haven’t necessarily been used a lot.
What Lead Me to This Point
For the past few weeks, I’ve been attempting to write an article about depression because I deal with it on a regular basis. But the funny thing is, when you aren’t feeling good about yourself, when you aren’t feeling any level of self-worth or self-love, it can be really hard to accomplish much of anything let alone write about depression. Just getting through the day can be an achievement.
Imagine me, trying to write about depression while I was in the middle of a deep downward spiral of my own. I have techniques that I use to work myself back out of these deep, dark places and I wanted to write about them and to share with you how I get through the low points. I just hadn’t really expected to be going through it while I wrote about it.
On the other hand, since I was experiencing it, I thought it would be helpful to me if I shared my techniques and thoughts on depression while I was experiencing it. I thought writing about it might somehow help me to raise my own vibration up and out of it. But it felt forced, and whenever I tried, the words wouldn’t come. I just couldn’t get there. The thoughts in my head weren’t helping me to write. Instead, they were discouraging me from writing. I wasn’t in a good place for writing and for being helpful to others. I focused more on what was wrong or who I wasn’t and what I wanted but didn’t have.
This is important, so I’ll repeat it:
My thoughts were focused on what I wanted, but didn’t have, and who I wanted to be, but wasn’t.
By thinking this way, I was holding myself in the downward spiral. And we all do this on a regular basis.
Now, I don’t want this article to be about my battle with depression and how I’ve learned to deal with it. I’ll go into that at a later time.
My point is that today, I don’t feel the same way about myself and today, I’m not focused on what I don’t have or who I want to be but am not.
Today, I’m focused on feeling good about where I am, who I am, and I’m happy and content with what I have.
That wasn’t a conscious effort on my part, to feel that way, but when I looked in the mirror and I felt the difference and witnessed the comparison of how felt today vs. how I had felt over the past several weeks, that’s when I realized the importance of self-love and the impact it has on our energy – our energetic vibration.
Boosting Your Vibrational Frequency Begins With Self-Love
If every time you look in the mirror, you focus on only the things you don’t like and you don’t look at the Being before you and see all the good qualities and the awesomeness of who you are and what you’re capable of, then you are holding yourself back from living the life you so deeply desire.
Why? Because the Law of Attraction demands it. Be the energy you wish to attract because that is the only way that it works. I know it’s not always easy, and I will share more about how I do this for myself in a later post. But start with this simple exercise of finding just 1 or 2 things about yourself that you appreciate.
Your vibrational frequency begins with self-love. The more gratitude you can feel toward yourself, the more quickly and easily everything else that you desire will come into fruition for you. It all starts with your own emotional set point – your energetic vibration.
When your energetic vibration is low, which it is while you’re focused on what you don’t have or who you are not, then you can only align with other things with a similar vibrational frequency.
Over the past couple of days, I could feel my vibrational energy increasing because I was focused on some of the techniques that I use when I’m experiencing a low vibration.
After I had that moment of Truth while I looked in the mirror; after I had a new understanding of how important self-love and self-worth are and WHY they make a difference, I immediately asked, how can I or someone else create more of that? I had found a NEW technique to use to help myself boost my vibrational frequency.
In Summary: Make a List
Make a list of all of your qualities, quirks, talents, skills, abilities, and anything else that you can think of that you like or appreciate about yourself. Keep going until you can’t think of any more and then come up with a few more after that.
Keep going until you feel a sense of self-worth and self-love that was greater than it was before you started making your list.
And then put that list somewhere you can see it on a regular basis. Or better yet, simply take a few minutes every morning to re-create your list! Start your day off expressing self-love and you’ll be amazed at the difference you can create for yourself.
The Benefits of Self-Love are Instantaneous
The benefits are instantaneous – the moment you start to raise your energetic vibration is the moment you start to align with new possibilities and new desires that fit that new frequency. The Law of Attraction will always bring things to you that align with you. The more often you can create that vibration within yourself, the brighter everything will feel.
This exercise may seem simple or even silly to you, but what do you have to lose?
Go make a list of everything you like or love about yourself and just see how you feel when you’re done. Notice how your thoughts, emotions, and how you feel changes in the minutes, hours or days after you start building and focusing on self-love. You’ll wonder why you hadn’t started doing it sooner.